So I got a letter through the post with an appointment for the 3rd Dec. I didn’t understand this at all, surely I couldn’t be expected to wait till the 3rd Dec for results?!
I rang my point of contact (the breast care nurse) straight away and just got voicemail. I then spent the rest of the day ringing her, the ward, the clinic and every number I had but nobody picked up. It was 6.30 pm when I finally got hold of her. She didn’t know anything about the appointment but said she could look on the computer for my results.
So here we are, the results!
She started reading them out and it was all medical terms I had never heard of, I was trying to write them down to google when I got off the phone! The main part of the results is that they have found a small area where the cancer cells are not in the ducts anymore so now classed as invasive. The good news is that the areas were very small and only grade 1.
It was quite difficult being told this over the phone because as much as I wanted to know, it was the nurse telling me so not the consultants so she couldn’t answer a lot of my questions. I will have an appointment next week to find out what treatment I have to have following this new discovery.
Whenever I tell anyone the new results they are all so positive which is good to be but sometimes I don’t think they actually understand or have a clue what a big deal this is!
The funny this is though that I am actually struggling to say the C word out loud! Is that normal?! I mean before these results I was telling everyone I had DCIS, so when people asked me I explained I had DCIS and did not even mention the word cancer! Now it’s invasive I need to face the fact that it is breast cancer and try telling people this. Someone asked the other day and I started talking about DCIS and invasive and Allsorts and they looked so confused! I am sure if I just said Breast Cancer then I would have made more sense but couldn’t say it!
One way I have found some support is in the way of a Facebook group aimed at younger women with breast cancer. I joined this group but didn’t expect much as I have joined forums before and not has many answers to my questions and posts. The first thing I liked was everyone saying welcome to me, I thought this was so nice. I then started looking at the people in the group and the people replying to me, as strange as it sounds the people were like me, they were young and pretty (not saying I’m pretty) and spoke like me like on the same wavelength!
When I was in hospital everyone on the ward was at least 50 years old, now I’m saying it is any easier getting the diagnosis as am older woman as it isn’t but I felt like I was the odd one out and on the wrong ward!
So I start posting in the group and I got so many replies. I have only been in the group 2 days and feel like I’m part of something, like I’m not alone and; these women are so easy to speak to and so nice. I am really glad I found this group.
So the wait goes on, only till next week though to find out what treatment I am having.
Despite this bad news I still feel ok, I don’t feel like crying or being negative, yes it’s worse than the DCIS but it’s only grade 1 cancer so perfectly treatable. Yes it’s not great but there’s a lot of people that I have met throughout this journey that are a lot worse and so I’m not going to get down about this and make a big deal out of it!