Through My Eyes

Some people say I talk too much, that I always have a story to tell. I don't know what's round the corner so my blog is about life through my eyes and making every day count.

Archive for the month “December, 2013”

The true meaning of Christmas


While looking on Facebook today I saw some pictures of a friends child’s Christmas nativity… I say nativity but I don’t think you could call it that. For a start Jesus was a black baby, now I’m not racist at all and if Jesus had been coloured in the bible then great but he wasn’t so why change such an important factor of the play just to be politically correct or not offend anyone !
The second thing is that my friends daughter wasn’t an angel, or Mary, no this little girl was starring in the nativity play as…..Miley Cirus!!
It made me think about Christmas and that all these ridiculous PC people have completely lost sight of what Christmas is about.

When I grew up Christmas was amazing. We loved everything from decorating the tree to carol singing in our village. We would take a bucket and collect money for the church and go round houses singing carols! Nobody does that anymore, it’s probably not safe to but it’s a big shame. We would always have a party at my grans in the run up to Christmas. She had a large house with a massive hall so the tree was about 8ft high and she would invite the choir round to sing carols round the tree and have mulled wine and mince pies. It sounds so cheesy but was so Christmassy!
Then on Christmas Day all the family would go to my Granny’s and have lunch and then sit round the log fire playing games like pictionary, monopoly etc, sounds cheesy but when there’s about 15 family members of all ages sat round playing stupid games it’s good fun.
Those are the happiest memories I have of Christmas and strangely enough I don’t remember what presents I got or that being a main factor in my excitement. Of course I was excited for Santa and left out the carrots for the reindeers but it was never what made Christmas. I just remember everyone being really happy and I loved that!

So let’s zoom forward 20 years…. Christmas seems to start in September now which is ridiculous, Nativity plays are no longer nativity in case we offend all the immigrants and all Christmas is about is the latest toys the kids have to have! I am not a very religious person but I think it’s important to remember what Christmas is about and the story of Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
I went to my daughters carol service at church yesterday and loved it. They sang traditional carols to the point I felt so Christmassy and nearly started crying half way through Silent night which is my favourite carol! A bit embarrassing but I get over emotional!

We have to remember though Christmas isn’t a happy time for everyone and I find that really sad. I want to wave a magic wand and make Christmas perfect for everyone, I want to make people’s dreams come true so they can enjoy Christmas like I do. The thought of someone being sad and Lonely on Christmas Day breaks may heart.
For a lot of people Christmas just reminds them of loved ones they have lost and it can be quite a Lonley time.
Then there’s the financial hardship a lot of families suffer at this time of year. There is so much pressure to buy the latest toys for the kids or to be generous with presents. It’s a shame that it’s like that because I would rather a big family Christmas with very few presents than an extravagant expensive Christmas overshadowed by the worry of debt and hardship.

One year we went to Africa for Christmas, not very traditional but something a bit different. Because of the cost of this holiday we didn’t get many presents for each other that year but it didn’t matter as we were on holiday together appreciating life… On a beach!
One thing we did do in Africa was buy hundreds of pencils, colouring books, balloons and cheap toys and took them to an area of poverty and handed them to the kids. It was the most emotional amazing thing iv ever done! None of these kids had decent clothes, toys or anything, they lived off rice and beans and didn’t get presents. To see their little faces light up at a balloon or pack of pencils was amazing and to me summed up Christmas perfectly, giving to others and spreading happiness, cheesy yes but it’s what we did!



Anyway this post has gone on far far too long so will wrap it up. I will say though that whatever Christmas means to you I hope it’s a happy time not a sad time and something to look forward to not dread.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New year


Back to work ( Just part time!)

I am very lucky to work for a company that is so understanding of my situation. They had no problem at all when I asked if I could go back part time and work my way back up to full time so I’v been doing a few days here and there!
I’m glad I had this option as I was surprised how tired I felt both mentally and physically after just a few days of work! I would rather that though that staying at home every day… Which brings me on to my main point of this post really, the benefit system and people who don’t work!!
I have had 6 weeks off so far due to illness but it feels like months and has driven me mad! For the first 2-3 weeks I was recovering from an operation and slept a lot so being at home was a good thing but as I got better I got so bored!
My day started about 09.30 when I got up, this is late but making the most of being off! I would then watch tv, around this time Jeremy Kyle is on so DNA and lie detector results galore! I then start housework which if kept on top of doesn’t really need doing but I can make it stretch to a couple of hours till lunch time and then I am done for the day so the next few hours consists of candy crush and loose women!!
I would love to hear from someone that stays at home all day on benefits and just ask exactly what they do all day!! I found myself doing a lot of online shopping but if I was in benefits all day I wouldn’t be able to afford that!
Iv always worked since I was 14 and got a washing up job in a cafe! And my lifestyle has reflected that, I’m not rich and never have been but am proud that on a weekend we can afford to do great stuff because i have worked for it! We have always been involved in racing as long as I can remember and if it wasn’t racing entry fees, tyres, fuel etc then it’s hotels for weekends away, tickets for events, holidays in the sun! All these nice things because we work hard all week and it’s worth it!

It must be nice to have that many kids you don’t need to worry about the rent, council tax, bills etc because the government will pay for you to live, but how many of these jobless benefit scroungers go racing every weekend? Or get a couple of holidays a year? They may live for free but what sort of quality of life is it to never afford a holiday or a weekend away! So then the kids get bored as they have nothing going on in their lives, boredom leads to causing trouble, drinking, smoking, dropping out of school etc and the cycle starts again, kids thinking they don’t need school or a job then getting pregnant to get a house and not have to work! And that’s the normal thing to do for them because they have seen their parents doing it!
May sound like i am
Stereotyping a bit but when you see kids committing crimes, getting pregnant and dropping out of school then the first place to look for a reason is the parents and what sort of example they are setting their kids by sitting around all day letting the government pay for them, and when they get a bit skint they have more kids!!
Completely controversial thing to say and against all human rights but I would love to put a system in place where if you can’t afford kids your not allowed to have them and you have to go get a job and put something back into society before costing us tax payers and hard workers millions of pounds a year In benefits!

I must say before I finish this post that I am aware not everyone is like this and some people can genuinely not work for medical reasons or being made redundant etc. I Also think it’s good to stay at home with the kids when they are dead young, it’s an important time with important milestones not to be missed so would never slag off someone staying at home with their babies then maybe return to work once the kids start school.
It’s the people that have the kids when they can’t afford them in the first place that bugs me, they have no money, have a baby then get a house from the government and everything paid for!

Anyway must sleep as I have that strange thing tomorrow called work! Then at the weekend we have a night out planned Friday if I feel well enough followed by 2 days karting at Sunderland, oh and Sunday lunch chucked in as well!
Wonder what the teenagers with 5 kids are doing this weekend?!

Charities – how much goes to charity?

While on Facebook today I can’t across an article that surprised me a little bit and annoyed me!

Comic Relief – News

After reading it i got thinking about charitable organisations and how charitable they are.
Comic relief annoys me every year, such a huge build up to it with fundraising globally. Then there’s the adverts of the starving kids covered in flys to tug on everyone’s heart strings. Don’t get me wrong I am all for fundraising & charity but it seems each year the total raised is a life changing amount of money yet the problem isn’t improving.
Now that last statement may be totally wrong, I don’t actually know where the money goes, we get told it’s going to Africa but it it really or is all our hard work fundraising actually going to pay the admin, staff, celebrities, marketing oh and shares in tobacco and firearms??!
So every year we raise about 100 million pounds for this huge charities but what about all the smaller ones? Wouldn’t it be better to have a list of charities all under one umbrella and then every year have a massive fundraiser like comic relief with its adverts & all night tv programme, divide the 100 million+ between 50 charities for example where a couple of million would be life changing to them and we would see exactly where it goes?!

I understand charities have costs, while some rely on volunteers others do have full time staff that need to be paid and then there’s marketing and fundraising expenses as well but as long as the charity is making money and making a difference then those costs can be justified.
I think it’s important to know where the money goes though as 100 million is a lot to raise every year and should be making life changing differences to the people that need it, but is it?!

I always do my bit for charity but for causes that I can see making a difference. One charity close to my heart is the Benjamin Gautrey Foundation as mentioned in a previous post. This is a charity set up by Ben’s family who give their time up to make a difference to young people and keep Ben’s legacy going. With charities like this you can see where the money goes, you can look at the list of individual young people the charity has helped along with sports associations and then the race academy organised every year as well.
These sort if charities are much more worthy of my money than something like comic relief, charities like the local children’s hospice that relies on volunteers and donations just to stay open and makes a huge difference to poorly children & their families looking after them, yet they don’t get and a massive global fundraising day or a share of 100 million pounds every year, but if your in the tobacco & firearms industry then you might!!

It’s all a very strange going on and I think quite misleading, I know I won’t be donating a penny to comic relief just because I’m so uncertain about how much of the money goes to help people.
I will be continuing with the charity work I do, Every year I try to organise something for the Benjamin Gautrey Foundation from sky dives to auctions etc as well as something small for the air ambulance and plan to do the race for life this year purely on the back of getting cancer this year as that’s obviously important to me now! Comic Relief and other large charities won’t be on my list for fundraising in 2014!

My Bucket List

I started writing a bucket list last around 2 years ago, not because I thought I was going to get cancer but more because I was 28 at the time bad wanted to do a few things before I reached 30! Then this year I got diagnosed with Breast Cancer and the bucket list got put on hold! Now that the end of 2013 is not far away and my cancer battle is nearing an end I want to revisit the bucket list and see if any of them are achievable! Drive a race car was on the list and I have done that even if it is just a mini in a field so that’s one ticked off!
Some of them below may seem a bit strange but it’s funny the things you realise you want to do when you sit and write a list!

1) Learn to weld
2) Meet Valentino Rossi
3) Go to the Italian Moto GP
4) learn to pole dance (fitness reasons only)
5) Swim with dolphins but in the sea not in a swimming pool!
6) run a full marathon
7) Climb Ben Nevis
8) Cook a Christmas dinner (successfully)
8) learn circus skills, the trapeze in particular!
9) be a passenger in a RAF fighter jet
10) visit Australia and go diving!

The above are just a few of my goals when in actual fact there are many more things I want to do in my life.

One point I want to make is that me making a bucket list is in no way any sort of negative message suggesting I think I am going to die! That’s not the case at all. The term “bucket list” does come from the term kick the bucket which is a phrase linked to dying but that’s not why I have a bucket list.
The reason for me is more a case of I don’t feel that young anymore and it’s suddenly dawning on me that next year I will turn 30 having not done very many of the things I want to do! I would like to think I am 70 years away from the end of my life but you just never know so I feel it’s time to start ticking some things off my list!!
I am aware some are more realistic than others, to be honest I have more chance of flying a fighter jet than I do cooking a decent and edible Christmas dinner!!
Either way if I can just get a few ticked off that would be fantastic.
I also want to raise a lot more month fur charity and volunteer more for charitable causes. I didn’t write it on the list above as running a marathon and climbing a mountain would be for charity.
I do think there should be a law that for 1 day every year people have to give up their time to help people less fortunate than themselves, if everyone did that then the world would be a much better place.

Work…. The Pursuit of Happiness!

I Have always worked hard, got my first Job when I was about 13 washing up in a restaurant and from then went on to have various jobs alongside school then college.

One Job I was very proud of was a job I got as a sales Executive at an Oil company selling Oil to food manufacturers. I worked my way up from admin to Sales Executive and loved my customers and the job I did.
Selling Oil was exciting as was the Oil trade, currency and markets, a lot to learn but I loved it and became very good at it.
I sold some big contracts to some big names and made the company a lot of money, i was proud of myself that I was doing well. Unfortunately this soon changed when my fantastic manager retired and the bosses daughter took his role. Not much older than me and a typical upper class snob she came into the business looking down her nose at everyone. The thing was that she wasn’t better than anyone else, she just acted like she was and as a result turned everyone against her and that was just the staff never mind the customers who were equally as put off. Her people skills were non existent and as a result everyone hated her, she had people in tears most weeks and a lot of people were unhappy. The relaxed atmosphere we worked in changed to an almost silent open plan office with no buzz to it and the only noise you ever heard was when someone was getting a Bollocking or being spoken to like crap! All these ridiculous rules came into place like no eating at your desk, no mobile phones, no messing around, oh and a tidy desk policy controlled with a red card system! We soon nicknamed her Hitler as it felt like we were being controlled in some awful regime by a devil woman!
To add to that everything we did was scrutinised, we got the most patronising emails all the time telling us what to do and say and all our emails were monitored so everyone knew what we were doing at all times!
It was worse than being in prison! Everyone started leaving and the staff turn around was quite vast! I thought it was a joke when they got nominated for employer of the year but then realised they will have just nominated themselves!!
I remember my daughter had an asthma attack one day and was in intensive care in hospital so was very serious and we were beside ourselves. The last thing I expected was a phone call from work asking if I am taking the day off unpaid or as a holiday?? To be honest at that time work wasn’t even important as I’m sat at my daughters hospital bed but that was typical of them, no people skills and an appalling HR department. The worst thing was that the HR department was run by the bosses daughter, the very person everyone wanted to complain about but never did as she was HR!
The funny thing is that despite all the bad stuff we did have good days, there were days where she (hitler) was so kind and nice you thought she must have a personality after all but then when you didn’t do something she liked or the way she wanted and you saw the other side to her which wasn’t nice.
To me Sales is all about the person selling not the company and that company had some good sales people, one of them being one of the best in the industry yet they lost us all due to 1 person treating us badly.
Anyway I decided enough was enough and when a reception Job came up at a local bus company I went for the job and got it. The job was only a temp job and a lot less money and some would say it was a step down from traveling around the UK selling oil but i just needed to leave the nightmare of a job I was in and find happiness. I knew I was better than to be looked down on and spoken to badly every day so decided enough was enough!
I genuinely think my resignation was a shock but given that 3 other people in my team had quit that month already I’m surprised they didn’t see it coming!
The sales team was suddenly disappearing underneath them and they couldn’t figure out why! I was totally honest with my reasons for leaving but they are so up there own arses that my opinion and resignation won’t have made a difference!
I remember clearly as I was leaving one day she (hitler!) called me aside and asked me to change my mind about leaving, I said no chance and my decision was final and she said she couldn’t Believe I was leaving a great job for a poxy receptionist job at a bus company and i was making a big mistake! It was quite intimidating but just clarified in my mind that I was doing the right thing! I was quite scared to be leaving a well paid job that was secure and paid the bills but I knew I had to take the risk and hope it paid off!
So it’s been over a year now at my new job as a receptionist, the only thing I didn’t like was the smaller wage but I just cut back on the shoes I bought! The company are fantastic, I work hard, do my job and get appreciated. We have a laugh alongside work and nobody gets treated badly or spoken to like crap. It made me realise what it’s like to be appreciated at work.

So then i dropped the Bombshell I had cancer and was going to be off work for a while, I know it’s not my fault but I did worry what they would think.
Obviously the worrying was for nothing and they have been fantastic. Before I left I then got called into a meeting and offered a job in customer services and HR and not be the receptionist anymore! I was gobsmscked, there’s me saying I’m going on the sick for months and they offer me a promotion! Just shows hard work pays off!!

I haven’t got a date to go back yet it is likely to be after Christmas and into the transport office for a new challenge. I didn’t join this company with the plan to get promoted, I left my old job in search of happiness and I have found it at this job. I feel that I am mentally sticking 2 fingers up at my old boss and saying F*** you Bitch, look at me now! Everyone thought I was making a huge mistake leaving a well paid secure job for a dead end receptionist job well I have proven them all wrong!!

I think my point really for this post is that if your unhappy then don’t just stay unhappy while life passes you by. Before you know it you will be old and looking back on life with regrets. Taking a risk is scary but it’s a risk worth taking if you think it will find you the happiness you deserve.
People spend aprox 8 hours a day working which is a big fraction of their lives to waste being unhappy! Life is short so make the most of your time being Happy in what your doing!

Cadwell 2011, A day I will never ever forget

Warning…. This is going to be a long post!!
There is no real reason for me to blog about this day other than it’s what I am sat here thinking about right now! Blogging is different for everyone but for me I will be sat thinking about things and putting it down in a blog is the stop point from when I go from thinking about it to actually getting upset! It’s quite therapeutic!
Anyway so brace yourself this could be a long blog!
British Superbikes 2011, a year I will never forget for many reasons. I was with a team called Gearlink Kawasaki and their main rider Ben Wilson was leading the Supersport championship. This was a massive thing to be involved in for me and the reason I started brollying in the first place, to be part of a team, seeing what goes on behind the scenes and involved in all the action! It was like all my dreams had been answered being part of Gearlink, they had a top running rider so that meant being at the front of the grid seeing how much the championship meant to these guys. Not only that but the amazing team owners made me feel part of the family, included me in everything, treated me as a person not just a pretty face there to stand on the grid. It had to be my best year in racing.

One of the main highlights of this year was meeting an amazing person called Benjamin Gautrey, Ben raced for a team called MWR Kawasaki who at the time were also part of the Gearlink team so I got to do the grid for them as well. The first time I met Ben his smile made me melt, it was a wonderful smile and I thought aww this boy is so cute! I say Boy as he was only 18 at the time and such a little charmer, he loved all the grid girls and used to call me the angel of the north as I was northern!

Cadwell superbikes is my favourite circuit and one I look forward to every year. This year I brought my husband and daughter with me racing and even though I was still doing the grid I also wanted to spend time with them. Megan was only 7 at the time so loved having her picture taken with the riders, and Ben Gautrey was the only one she loved, she met a lot of famous riders that weekend yet for some reason kept asking when Ben was racing so she could cheer him on, he had that effect on people!
On race day I got asked to do the grid for Ben. I said no, a decision I have lived to regret ever since.
This was because the way the pits were you had to cross the track to get to the pit lane which meant stuck down in the pit lane for long periods of time. I was already doing the grid for the Supersport race so decided to spend more time with Justin and Megan and watch the race from the top of the hill with them.
What happened next I will never ever forget, second by second, from the point we saw the crash to the point we saw it was Ben and knew it was bad. I knew I had to be with the team and find out what was going on so as soon as I could I got across the track to the pit Lane to find our what was going on.
As time past I sat and waited patiently away from the medical centre and then after what felt like ages I saw my friend Gill walking away from the medical centre and I knew what had happened. I took myself into the toilet in the little building and cried my eyes out, I had to hide as there were lots of tv cameras and people outside that didn’t know the severity of the crash and I knew I had to keep it to myself and act calm.
The worst bit was that I had to go on the grid for the Supersport race knowing what I knew, only a handful of people knew at that point and I wasn’t meant to be one of them. I borrowed some sunglasses to hide my eyes and on I went. It was just typical on this occasion Eurosport decided to interview the rider and the camera was right in my face. I just kept thinking don’t cry for gods sake!
I got text messages after from loads of people saying they saw me on tv and I looked really miserable! Course they didn’t know why.
After the race it was announced that Benjamin Gautrey had lost his life in the crash, aged just 18 years old.

A lot of people stayed around upset, comforting each other but I just ran, I didn’t say good bye to anyone, I just got in the car and went home in silence, crying most of the journey to myself. It took me a long time before I could watch the race back on the tv and found it very upsetting. Not just because it was a reminder of that day but because while a lot of the live feed was going on the cameras constantly caught myself and my friend Karla in the background and we knew how we felt at that time and how worried we were. I watched it once and relived it once then deleted it. Whether deleting it was the right thing to do I don’t know but I just couldn’t have it sat on my sky plus box as a constant reminder of that awful day.
I only knew Ben a short amount of time but I can honestly say he has changed my life forever. Ben was an elite sportsman and was top at everything he did, he played football, cricket, swam, did gymnastics, cycling, bike racing and more. He taught me to never give up, that if you work hard you can achieve your dreams and the sky is the limit. He was a truly amazing person. Ben even had a huge effect on my daughter and she only met him once. From meeting Ben Megan isn’t interested in hanging out with her friends in town and what’s to spend every second of her spare time doing something productive from karting to running, horse riding, cheerleading and Allsorts! She says she wants to be like Ben and the best in everything she puts her mind to, I am very proud of how sporty she has become so thanks Ben.
Heaven truly has gained an angel.

Through knowing Ben I then met his family who are equally just as inspirational. They have set up a charity called the Benjamin Gautrey Foundation and have raised thousands of pounds to help young people like Ben achieve their dreams. They have paid for sports kits for local sports associations, helped young bike racers with their safety equipment needed to race and even set up a race academy to help young riders improve their skills on the track.

Since this day I have also done a lot of fundraising for them, I have organised a couple of big charity band nights and even jumped out of a plane! I think I have raised about £5000 in total and plan to continue doing so. If something so positive can come out of something so awful then that’s got to be a good thing.

I know a lot of people don’t believe in angels and I don’t know what I believe but I truly think that Ben is looking down proud on everything his family have achieved in his name. I always say hello to him when I return to Cadwell where he lost his life doing something he loved and living the dream.

Benjamin Gautrey 1992 -2011 #25




Shopping – I used to enjoy it!

One of the main things I love to do is Shop! I’m no millionaire with money to burn but I work hard vas like to treat myself every now and again!!
Since my operation we decided to get a new bed, out old one wasn’t very comfortable and comfort is important after a big operation!
The bed arrived yesterday to my delight! It has a lot of storage underneath which I took it upon myself to store all my shoes! At the same time I decided it was maybe time to chuck out a lot of pairs and get some new ones!!


So after sorting shoes my mum picked me up and we drove to Newcastle for shopping, something I normally love!
When we arrived it was so busy but normally I don’t mind so we excitedly entered the Shopping Centre. Within about half an hour I felt so hot, not just warm but hot! A downside to the Tamoxifen tablets! After taking off 2 layers I felt much better and carried on shopping.
Normally I can just look at a dress or top and know it will fit and won’t even need to try it on! Since my operation I don’t have as much confidence and not only that don’t know what looks good and doesn’t.
It seemed every dress I tried Looked hideous and every top I tried on just reminded me of the operation iv had done and had me worrying if you can tell!
In the end I couldn’t even be bothered, I was so hot and stressed I just wanted to go home. My bags were heavy but not with nice shopping but just the layers iv taken off and have to carry!
I stopped by John Lewis and decided it was time to buy a better bra, it’s only early days so I can’t have underwire yet but wanted something a bit more attractive than the sports bras iv been wearing!
After the lady measured me she brought me a selection of bras to try and to be honest the whole thing just made me more stressed. I think it was a wake up call as to what iv had done. I realised I can’t put a nice bra on anymore and feel sexy and want to show it off, now it’s just a case of trying to cover the scars and marks rather than show off what iv had done.
My mum kept asking what was wrong so it must have been obvious I wasn’t happy but I just smiled and said nothing. In the end I just bought The bra to keep the woman happy even though it was Calvin Klein and cost a fortune!
In the car on the way home I just felt deflated, i had spent a good afternoon in a hot sweat surrounded my manic Christmas shoppers vas only come away with an expensive Bra I didn’t really want!

I think the whole experience is just another example of how my life has changed, gone are the days I swanned round a shop picking up items of clothing I know will look good, now I don’t know what will look good and have to try everything on, something that isn’t fun at Christmas time while suffering side effects of Tamoxifen!

Is Gullible the same as stupid?

While watching Celebrity Juice with Joey Essex my husband and I were laughing at how little he knew about stuff in general, he didn’t know where Danish Bacon came from, What country borders Wales, the name of Jesus’s mother! Now while I was laughing thinking what an idiot I then began to think of all the things I have said that could be classed as thick, stupid, dumb etc etc.
Now I don’t see myself as thick or stupid, I work hard at everything I do and succeed yet I surprise myself every now and again with the comments I come out with. Some could be classed as stupid perhaps but a lot are due to me being a little bit (or a lot) gullible! People can tell me things and sound serious enough so I will believe them!
People say to me I could write a book with all my comments! So Here are a few, is it just stupidness? Gullibility? Just plain dumb or a bit of all the above?!

1) while visiting Anglesey race circuit right by the sea which contains 2 big wind turbines I say ” I’m sick of it being windy, I wish they would turn those stupid Fans off!”

2) “Do they have to close the motorway to change the bulbs in the cats eyes”

3) After seeing a flash range rover with Kahn written on the back I got very excited that Amir Kahn must own it & insisted my husband followed him to see where he was going! My husband obviously made me aware of my mistake!!

4) Walking round Osmotherley Reservoir I had my head facing the sky the whole time trying to spot the apparent Honey Bears my husband said lived in the trees!!

5) Blubberhouses Reservoir in Lancashire is named that due to all the whales in the reservoir…. Or so my husband told me!

6) Oh great it’s raining and it’s that annoying rain that gets you wet!!

7) while arguing with my husband – “stop picking at hairs” he told me the term is stop splitting hairs, still not sure what it means!!

8) We can’t put the new tumble dryer in the conservatory as it won’t have access to the water pipes!

9) What trains have Wheels? I thought they were like Scalelectrix cars on a runner thing, iv never seen a train with wheels!!

10) Are Charlie chaplain and Hitler the same person?

That’s just a few things on a long list of things iv either said or believed to be true! But I don’t see myself as thick, then again I suppose Joey Essex doesn’t either and he doesn’t know how many sides a square has!! I think it’s fair to say I wouldn’t be the ideal candidate for the pub quiz team! I find I am always the person who doesn’t get jokes, well not straight away but maybe a few hours later the penny drops and I suddenly get the joke and laugh out loud when it’s not actually funny anymore!! Or sometimes I just laugh even though I don’t get the joke!
I would like to think while I’m sat laughing at Joey Essex people are not doing the same thing every time I open my mouth without thinking first!!

Paul Walker – Died doing what he loved

I woke up Sunday morning to the news that Movie star Paul Walker had been killed in a high speed crash as as passenger in a Porsche GT. Then I looked at the articles on the Internet I was faced with horrific pictures of a crash scene and a mangled car completely burnt out. Very shocking scenes.
One of the first things I thought was a great feel of sadness followed by the irony that Paul was Famous for the Fast and Furious films performing dangerous driving stunts and driving at speed and then this is how he came to the end of his life. My second thought was that I hoped the impact killed him instantly as being trapped in a car on fire doesn’t bear thinking about at all.
It’s quite strange how the mind, and people think, and work. People die every day in car accidents and 9 people died the night before when a police helicopter crashed into a pub but Social networking sites were full of tributes to Paul Walker. He wasn’t actually the only one in the car either, Racing car Driver Roger Rodas was the driver yet his name doesn’t really get a mention either. I am not criticising this really as if I am honest all I could think about was sadness for Paul Walker but I think it’s interesting how because he was a well known celebrity it’s almost like we knew him and mourn for him more than any of the just as tragic deaths over the past few days.
That aside though it is very sad to be taken so suddenly at just 40 years old leaving all his friends and a 15 year old daughter behind. It makes you really think about life when something unexpected like that happens. He was a healthy man living life to the full and then out the blue suddenly he has gone.
Nobody knows what’s round the corner and I don’t think people should assume they will live till their old as you just don’t know.
Obviously I don’t mean walk around thinking your a ticking time bomb but at the same time if you have a dream, an ambition or a plan then don’t leave it, if you have family or friends you don’t speak to or people you don’t see as
Much as you would like then now is the time to do it, you just never know when it’s going to be too late.
I saw a statement online that Paul Walker said once – “If one day the speed kills me then do not cry as I was smiling”

Rip Paul Walker and Roger Rodas




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